Story: How Brer Rabbit Practice Medicine
Book: Folk-Tales from Georgia, in Journal of American Folklore v. 12
Author(s): Emma Backus
Published: 1899
Internet Archive link.

Notes: I have removed the eye-dialect while leaving the story in Jamaican English, along with editing for punctuation and paragraphing.

Brer Wolf and Doctor Rabbit

Old Brer Rabbit had a bad name for a partner, but one time he get Mr. Wolf to work a crop on shares with him, and they have a agreement writ out on paper, how in the harvest they gonna divide half and half.

Mr. Rabbit know Old Mr. Wolf mighty good hand in the field, and sure to make a good crop. But when Old Brer Rabbit set in to work, he get mighty tired, and the corn rows, they look so mighty long, and he begin to lag behind and work he brain.

Presently he jump to the work, and make he hoe cut the air, and soon caught up with Mr. Wolf, and he open the subject of the education in medicine, and he tell how he am a regular doctor, and got his diploma in a frame to home, but he say he don’t know how all the patients gonna get on. Now he turn over the farming, and Old Mr. Wolf ask how much money he get for he doctoring, and when he hear so much, he tell Mr. Rabbit to go when he have a call, and put by the money, and in the fall put in the crop money and then divide. So that night Mr. Rabbit, he instruct his chilluns how they got for to run and call him frequent, and how they got to tell Mr. Wolf they wants the doctor.

And sure ‘nough, Mr. Rabbit ain’t more than in the front row next day, when here come little Rab all out of breath and say, “Somebody send in great distress for the doctor.”

Mr. Rabbit make out like he can’t go and leave Mr. Wolf to do all the work, but Mr. Wolf studying about that big fee Brer Rabbit gonna turn in the company, and he tell him, “Go along; he can get on with the work.”

So Mr. Rabbit clips off in great haste, and he just go down on the edge of the woods, and what you expect he do? Well, sir, he just stretch hisself out in the shade of a swamp maple and take a nap, while Old Mr. Wolf was working in the corn rows in the hot sun. When Mr. Rabbit sleep he nap out, he sit up and rub he eyes, then he loony off down by the spring for a drink, then he come running and puffing like he been running a mile, and tell Mr. Wolf what a mighty sick patient he get, and make out like he that wore out he can’t more than move the hoe.

Well, when they come back from dinner, Mr. Rabbit, he strike and make he hoe fly, but directly here come little Rab for the doctor, and Old Mr. Rabbit, he take hisself off for another nap, and matters goes on just this here way all summer. Old Mr. Wolf, he have to do all the work, but he comfort himself with the reflection, that he have half them big fees what Brer Rabbit turning in to the company money.

Well, when the fodder done pulled, and all the crop done sold, and they go for to count the money, Mr. Wolf ask Brer Rabbit where the doctor’s fees what he gonna turn in. Brer Rabbit say they all such slow pay, he can’t collect it. Then they fell out, and Mr. Wolf that mad, he say he going eat Brer Rabbit right there, and make an end of he tricks.

But Mr. Rabbit beg that they take the trouble up to the court-house to Judge Bear. So they loony off to the court-house, and the old judge say it were a jury case, and he send Sheriff Coon out to fetch the jurymans, and he say, “Don’ you fetch no mans here, except if they be more fool than the parties in the case.”

But Sheriff Coon allow he don’t know where he gonna find any man what’s more fool than Brer Wolf in this here case, but he take out down the county, and by and by he seed a man rolling a wheelbarrow what ain’t got nothing in it round the house and round the house, and he ask him what he doing that for? And he say, he trying to wheel some sunshine in the house. Sheriff Coon say, “You is the man I wants to come with me and sit on the jury.”

They go along, and directly they see a man pulling a long rope up a tall tree that stand alongside a house. They ask him what he going do? He say he going to haul a bull up on top of the house to eat the moss off the roof, and Sheriff Coon say, “I’ll be bound you is my man for the jury, and you must go long with we all to the court.” So they take their way back to the court-house, then they have a great time taking evidence and argufying.

Ole Brer Wolf, he sit up there, and consider every word of the evidence, but Old Brer Rabbit he lean back and shut he eye, and work he brain on he own account. He sitting right close to the door. When the lawyer done get everybody worked up so they take no noticement, Brer Rabbit just slip softly out the back door, and he creep ’round the side of the cabin back to where Old Judge Bear sit with the bag of money on the floor, and what you expect? When they all talking, Old Brer Rabbit just slide he hand in the crack, and softly slip out the bag of money, and take out home, and leave the case in the care of the court.

That just like Old man Rabbit.

Rabbit by Tambako at Flickr, https://www.flickr.com/photos/8070463@N03/854256078